After Church leaders formalized their stance on same-sex marriage by officially labeling them as apostate in its Church handbook, the Church went through a lot of pain and confusion, both for those who were LGBTQ+ and those who were not. Many of us noticed the bitter feelings by both those who respected or even agreed with the decision and those who felt the Church was moving in the wrong direction. Facebook fights, antagonistic blogging contests, and more.
This was then amplified after it was leaked that the policy had been influential in a number of suicides around the nation, especially by non-heterosexual youth. As I attempted to bring light to the fact that, regardless of one’s position on the policy, even one suicide was one too many and that it was time for a discussion on how to make the Church culture more inclusive. (This, I believe, can be done even before-or without-a change in the policy. It may be harder, but I think it is time for members to take a stand on changing church culture, regardless of how progressive or conservative you feel towards the religion as a spiritual institution.)
One of my dear friends sent me this Facebook message: “I was thinking about what you wrote about the suicides, which is definitely a tragedy. While I personally don’t disagree with the policy, I can understand the hurt that is very real for others. So since you have worked with many LGBT Mormons, I have a question. How exactly do you reach out to those that are gay and are hurting. You are correct, the “hate the sin…” rhetoric is not working, but I think there are many members who want to know what they can do to support and love those that are gay and are not sure how to help.” Well, here are some answers. To all of you wondering out there, here are a collection of what some LGBTQ+ members are searching for in your ward families. Continue reading