Mixed Orientation Marriage and the Art of Sacrifice

You are 21, and drowning in grief. Your father has died suddenly, leaving you anchorless. You are suffering from a debilitating and nameless disease, and every doctor you see passes you along, telling you that there is nothing they can do for you. You are in a relationship with a woman who you love desperately, but who loves the sharp highs of anger and fuzzy lows of drugs more.

At your local library, you find a book, beautifully written, telling you that you are a beloved daughter of a Heavenly Father, and He has a Plan of Happiness for you. It tells you about the pattern of things that He has set forth, and that you agreed to in the pre-mortal realm. The book says that there is more to life than pain, and that we have come to this world to learn and experience joy. You read it greedily, taking it with you on your breaks to work, sneaking in as many pages as you can away from your girlfriend’s watchful eyes. In it you see truth, beauty, light and- most importantly- hope.

Six months later you sit in front of the local Mission President. You confess to him that you are a lesbian, but that you have broken up with your girlfriend of two years and are living separately from her in preparation for baptism. He smiles; you’ve said the right thing and you bask in his approval. Cutting ties with your girlfriend was painful, but the sacrifice was worth it. Your sins can be washed away. Your homosexuality can be washed away. Continue reading

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Church Discipline and the Infantilizing of the Gay Male

Trigger Warning: This is a frank discussion about the treatment of the believing gay male in the church, including excommunication, which some may find disturbing. This post is not intended for gay youth or gay men who are hurting as they reconcile their sexuality with the teachings of the church. If you feel you need to talk to someone, please do not keep it to yourself. Please call the Suicide Prevention Line (800) 273-8255. If you are a youth please call the Trevor Project (866) 488-7386. Many people care about you.

Your LGBT community will at times have difficult discussions such this one to shed light on previously hidden issues for our allies and others outside our community to consider.


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