The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise.
A familiar anthem rises universally in LGBT writings and speech. It is the triumphant declaration: “I am not broken!” Sometimes at our most vulnerable moments in life we need to hear from others “You are not broken” before the actualization of this powerful statement independently ignites in our soul.
So much surrounds us that wants to extinguish this idea. Perhaps no one knows this better than our LDS LGBT. While each coming out story is unique, every gay Mormon passes universal milestones common to every such journey. One common milestone is the point at which you realize you are different from your typical peers at church.
Here Eden is shattered and somehow we know we can never return. The more we study, the more we share our narrative, the darkness of institutional and cultural shame takes hold almost as if to say “See, you are broken!” and in the saying is couched an ancient solution:
This, brothers and sisters, is the closet.
Of course some reject this solution outright and go their way brightening an otherwise lone and dreary world.
But we have all been there at one point, no matter how brief or how long. Some hide for safety. Some hide to avoid loss. Some hide to obey. Others enter reparative hiding either willingly or unwillingly. This is your closet and your LGBT community understands this phenomenon. There is no shame in the closet. You have a right of self-determination to decide if and when you come out. No matter when you chose to come out, no one is going to say, “Well, that’s unfortunate you didn’t come out sooner.”
At some point in your Hero’s journey, either in or out of the closet, you will encounter someone or something that will pose this critical question: “Who told you that you were broken?”
Listen to them. It is a godly question.
For you are not broken, and as a gay Christian only your heart needs be.
And what you are is a whole and healthy child of Heavenly Parents who love you.
Your choices will define you, but never, ever, ever let others define you. You will encounter many choices as an LDS LGBT, but when a choice is placed before you ALWAYS question who or what is doing the placing. When our hearts break completely open to the Spirit of God we are capable of personal revelation and guidance. It is a gift of the restoration.
As an LDS LGBT you are not broken. You may stand tall in the great heritage of Saints who gift a broken heart and a contrite spirit. Such is the privilege of every Christian in every age.