Today was kind of a rough day. I got harassed at work for an hour over instant messenger by my Baptist aunt, who works in another state for the same place. I wanted to cry. She said horrible things, but that wasn’t what really hurt. It was that someone so desperately wanted to destroy my happiness, that they couldn’t respect me enough to drop the agenda and leave me in peace. Continue reading
My Dad taught me a very important principle in my youth. If one of your friends, or family members is dating/marrying someone you think is an absolute creep, and you tell them this, you will not likely change their decision. More likely they will continue on with the decision, even if they themselves start to feel other wise, and you will ruin your relationship with that person.
I saw the wisdom in my dad’s words, and over the years there have been many times I strongly disagreed with friends and family members dating choices, and bit my tongue and saved our relationship. However, in the past year, I learned that I had been approaching this all wrong, and even though I had managed to not burn any bridges by taking my dad’s advice, there were things I could yet learn that would not only just preserve friendships when people made choices I disagreed with, but deepen the relationship, despite our disagreement.
Its strange, but not strange at the same time, that the things we most feel inclined to want to correct others on, to “save them from themselves” and their bad decisions, are probably the most personal choices that we really have no business at all making for anyone but ourselves. I am as guilty of doing this as anyone, and I am trying to change. Things like religion/spirituality/faith, dating/marriage relationships, and politics often become things that can divide the closest of friends and drive a wedge between them. These are areas we feel often morally obligated to help someone else not make a “wrong” choice. Continue reading
What would it be like in chess if you spent the game protecting your Bishop, and not protecting your King?
Monday a friend and I made dinner while her husband played chess with the kids. From across the room I heard him instruct one of the children “protect your Bishop!”
it instantly brought to mind the Mormon Newsroom statement released earlier in the day about Utah ranking particularly high in the nation for child abuse, and the church released a statement about their policy for dealing with child abuse. As I have only read the one article, I’m not going to address that policy or statistic hear today. However basically, it was about the church protecting itself at the cost of children. I felt very similarly about the infamous policy released last November, it feels like a pattern.
As the night progressed, my friend kept fishing for information on why I wasn’t going to church. I skillfully dodged that most the night, because I didn’t feel she was ready for that conversation. I knew it was going to be horribly awkward when I told her I had resigned.
Finally the moment came, and I had to tell her. Continue reading
This morning, as I was talking to a friend I had a deep realization, the buddy system works. The Buddy System, something many of us were taught as children to keep us safe from would be kidnappers, in adulthood has much broader uses.
In fitness having a work out buddy can make you much more committed to working out on a regular basis. In weight training or gymnastics, having someone to spot you can help you not to injure yourself. As I found out this morning, the buddy system can also help encourage you to make important doctors appointments that you’ve been putting off out of fear and deep loathing of going to the doctor.
In my life as a member of the LDS church, the buddy system played an integral part to many key moments of my life. Continue reading