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To the King Across My Chessboard

I'm standing on this cloud
Because this book belongs to you
It's filled with all the thoughts and promises
I made before I knew

Before you told me there's a woman
Who threads fire through her hair
Whose iceberg eyes are made from stars
You forged in holiness and prayer

And if the bishops on this chessboard
Are right and speak the truth
Then I'm off to dwell in darkness
I'm not leaving her for you

But I'm quite sure you folded glory
In the forests of her soul
The same way you painted fire
In men whose eyes are made of coal

So I'm standing on this cloud
Because this writing is not mine
And while I'll miss your starry buildings
I believe her heart's a sign
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Houses by the Sea

I remember when you kissed my hand
Like softly pouring rain
There's not a single fracture in my soul
That dared to stay the same

I still feel your fingers laced in mine
Trying not to change the past
And this everything you left with me
Is endless. It is vast.

My head is filled with could-have-beens
And houses by the sea
While Gods of grey remind me
That we do not love for free

I will never touch your hand again
We are finite, laced with pain
But on nights when whispers haunt me
I'll pretend you're in the rain

I'll pretend you paint the sunsets
And the shapes inside the clouds
I'll pretend that I'd have no regrets
If I'd dared to love out loud

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