Unknown's avatar

For my cousin, wherever you may find her

Sweet girl,

I remember you.

I remember you standing in between your father and another grown man.

Your wrists no bigger than the twigs we pulled off aspen trees.

You were so unbearably, heartbreakingly small.

I remember you yelling ‘NO DAD’

With your entire body and the strength your mother’s voice had forgotten.

…………..

In my dreams we are fighting the same man.

We are fighting your father.

In my sister’s dreams we are fighting the same man.

We are fighting your father.

In my mother’s dreams,

In my aunts dreams, we are all fighting the same man.

We have always been fighting your father.

……………..

We have always been fighting his father.

………………

In my best dreams you are safe.

In my best dreams I hold you in my arms and we convince you that you are not alone.

……………..

I remember your only public profile picture.

How tall you have grown since they moved you to the desert.

How beautifully you have grown since I last knew you.

……………

Sweet girl,

I will always miss you.

I drop a penny in every fountain I see and whisper your name.

I never hear a single coin hit the bottom.

…………….

Sweet girl,

I see you in every terrified girl-child that I meet in this plantation.

I see you in the mirror every morning.

…………….

May god bless and keep you,

My dearest, my sweetest, my bravest, my smallest sister.

May god free you from our family.

Unknown's avatar

To the King Across My Chessboard

I'm standing on this cloud
Because this book belongs to you
It's filled with all the thoughts and promises
I made before I knew

Before you told me there's a woman
Who threads fire through her hair
Whose iceberg eyes are made from stars
You forged in holiness and prayer

And if the bishops on this chessboard
Are right and speak the truth
Then I'm off to dwell in darkness
I'm not leaving her for you

But I'm quite sure you folded glory
In the forests of her soul
The same way you painted fire
In men whose eyes are made of coal

So I'm standing on this cloud
Because this writing is not mine
And while I'll miss your starry buildings
I believe her heart's a sign
Unknown's avatar

Houses by the Sea

I remember when you kissed my hand
Like softly pouring rain
There's not a single fracture in my soul
That dared to stay the same

I still feel your fingers laced in mine
Trying not to change the past
And this everything you left with me
Is endless. It is vast.

My head is filled with could-have-beens
And houses by the sea
While Gods of grey remind me
That we do not love for free

I will never touch your hand again
We are finite, laced with pain
But on nights when whispers haunt me
I'll pretend you're in the rain

I'll pretend you paint the sunsets
And the shapes inside the clouds
I'll pretend that I'd have no regrets
If I'd dared to love out loud

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