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A few years ago, when I was preparing remarks to share during an upcoming religious service, it occurred to me that I had nothing to say. The religious views I had contemplated my entire life were no longer of interest to me. The intricacies of doctrine held no appeal. Truth claims were naive, futile and tiresome.

In a moment of determination, I sat down with a pen and a blank sheet of paper and resolved to work out my true convictions. I dug deep and searched for faith inside myself, unsure of what I would find. Withholding self-judgment as much as I could, I asked myself, “What do I really believe?” Continue reading →

In a way, modern pornography caught the Mormon church off-guard, and it wasn’t because no one saw it coming. When the ‘Net was young and ruled by AOL, NetZero and AltaVista, Mormon leaders were already warning male audiences of the dangers of the Internet and the enemies that lurked there. In October 1997, Gordon B. Hinckley sounded the alarm:

Pornography, with its sleazy filth, sweeps over the earth like a horrible, engulfing tide. It is poison. Do not watch it or read it. It will destroy you if you do. It will take from you your self-respect. It will rob you of a sense of the beauties of life. It will tear you down and pull you into a slough of evil thoughts and possibly of evil actions. Stay away from it. Shun it as you would a foul disease, for it is just as deadly.

I was 10 years old at the time he spoke these words, and I would hear this same message repeated relentlessly in the meetings I attended throughout my teen years. It was clear to me that the leaders of the church were terrified of pornography, and they intended for us to be as well. And it worked. Continue reading →

During a recent conference for LGBT/SSA Mormons and their family and friends, one of the participants shared a gut-wrenching statistic: at least 32 LGBT Mormons have ended their own lives since November 5, 2015. The actual number is undoubtedly higher; many cases are not reported. There are ongoing efforts to improve the tracking of such numbers. I was not present at the conference but heard the news afterward in an event recap by John Gustav-Wrathall and later as it was shared on social media.

To be candid, I don’t know quite what to do with this information. It’s horrific. I am reminded of an assertion made by a tour guide at Yad Vashem, the Holocaust museum on Mount Herzl in Jerusalem, that every person who dies is an entire world that is lost to us. We are losing worlds too quickly.

A gloriously divine principle was revealed to us through Joseph Smith: “The worth of souls is great in the sight of God.” This is a beautiful thought, and it has power to transform our lives to the extent that it enters into us and we become convinced that it is true. I am absolutely convinced.

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In 2009 I was scouring the internet for hope. I knew was attracted to men, but what worried me more was that I was not attracted to women. My search led me to the website for Exodus International, a non-profit Christian network that provided assistance to those with concerns of unwanted homosexual attraction. The URL at the time was exodusinternational.org, but you won’t find it there anymore. In fact, the only place you’ll find it now is on archive.org’s Wayback Machine. This is what it looked like back in 2009:

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Years ago, my older sister came home from school with a terrifying short story to share: “The Lottery” by Shirley Jackson. I was only around ten years old at the time but I read the whole thing, and the image of the black spot remains ingrained on my mind these nearly 20 years later. I almost cried when I finished it. If you have not read it before, please do. I can only say that it is indeed terrifying.

I do not think it is an exaggeration to say that membership in the Mormon church is a lottery, and one with extremely low odds. I say it is a lottery because it is largely based on chance rather than merit. The probability of living in a time and place where the church even exists and is accessible is very low. If you were born into a Mormon family, you’ve got a pretty good chance of being Mormon for life. But if not, the chances you will join the church as an adult are very low. This is the “lottery of joining.”

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Screenshot from the devotional

President Russell M. Nelson and his wife Wendy held a devotional tonight for young adults, with a focus on millennials in the millennial day. It is likely that President Nelson’s brief comments on the policy changes may receive more attention than the rest of the devotional.

A number of sources have reported slightly different versions of the story of how the policy changes were decided upon and instituted. During his devotional message, President Nelson described in his own words the process through which the First Presidency and Quorum of the Twelve arrived at the final version of the policies. He reported the following: Continue reading →

I recently finished compiling some of the most notable blog posts published in the days following the Mormon church’s recent policy changes. I hadn’t intended to post on consecutive days but my proof copy of the book came in the mail this afternoon and I’m so happy with how it turned out that I couldn’t wait to share.

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In fall of last year, the Mormon church introduced four new courses to be taught at its universities and Institutes of Religion. (Institutes of Religion are smaller institutions that provide religion coursework to college-age young adults apart from the Church’s universities.) The four courses are called “Cornerstone Classes” because they review fundamental beliefs of the Mormon church. The teacher and student manuals for these courses appeared online in September 2015 (or thereabouts). They are:

• Jesus Christ and the Everlasting Gospel
• Foundations of the Restoration
• The Teachings and Doctrine of the Book of Mormon
• The Eternal Family

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At the Supreme Court the day of the Obergefell v. Hodges decision

November 2015 was so destabilizing that I nearly forgot the rest of the year. But the rest of 2015 was by no means uneventful. Beginning with a surprise announcement in January, some of us sensed a subtle shift toward greater openness and acceptance in the church. Near the end of the year, a few unexpected policy changes materialized, signaling a sharp reversal in trajectory that left us disoriented. Here I try to sort out the narrative by reviewing some of the more memorable moments in the LGB conversation from the last year.[1]
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