Fencing With The Universe

“In your wisest and in your most confused, be friendly toward yourself.”  -Pema Chodron

I wrote a suicide note in my mind tonight. I’m not in danger. I just need to speak it, as part of my own safety system. I talk about it when it comes up. That’s my commitment. No silence. No secrecy. No isolation.  Continue reading


Joe Biden, Lady Gaga, and Mormons: A Conversation on Rape Culture

In case you didn’t subject yourself to the Oscars, Lady Gaga and Joe Biden took the national stage to speak out against campus sexual assault.¹

I feel compelled to post on Biden’s final statement regarding victims of sexual assault–“They did nothing wrong!”

I believe the majority agrees that sexual assault is a crime against humanity. However, there is debate on the issue of responsibility around sexual assault–who is at fault? Was the victim drinking? Were they wearing revealing clothing? Were they walking in a dark, secluded area?  Continue reading

A Little Girl, Love, and the Butterfly Effect

After the mob of school children passed my house on their way home I saw a little girl walking in the opposite direction, crying. I went out, as a mother would, and asked if she was okay. She had lost her little brother, who she usually helps get home from school. I asked if she wanted to call her mother and she said, “No, she’s working, she won’t know where he is.”

She was beyond distressed, and began to run down the sidewalk calling out his name. I was a stranger, and she wasn’t going to engage me. When I returned home I gathered my little children around and told them her story, and we said a prayer for her and her little brother.

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Grace, Big Girl Panties, and the Challenge of Heterosexual Privilege

I’m a closeted lesbian, but my aunt has known I’m gay for a long time. I never told her and she never asked. She just knew. She’s like that. Super em-pa-thic. A few years ago I told her I was thinking about coming out publicly. I expected her typical open, affirming, supportive response.

“Don’t do that! Why do gay people always feel like they NEED to tell people they are gay? Your sexuality is private. Nobody wants to know. Seriously, don’t do it.”

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