Most LDS church leaders will agree with the official church position that a homosexual orientation is not a choice or a sin, though there are far too many bishops and stake presidents in the church who won’t even agree with that. But even in official church teachings, they always follow on by saying that acting on those attractions IS a choice and a sin.

For instance, talking about homosexual orientation, Elder M. Russell Ballard stated: “Let us be clear: The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints believes that the experience of same-sex attraction…itself is not a sin, but acting on it is. Even though individuals do not choose to have such attractions, they do choose how to respond to them.” (italics added)

While I agree that all members, straight and gay, have the God-given power of agency to choose how they respond to any situation, straight people are not qualified to make a judgement on this topic as it relates to gay members. Continue reading →

I don’t have a problem believing a prophet received revelation when he decided men of all races should have access to priesthood. In fact I’m quite convinced he did. I’m not convinced however that God created the revelation that same day, at least not for the first time. If, in fact, revelations are individually packaged things I’d be surprised to find out God hadn’t sent that same revelation many times to many people. Continue reading →

I recently finished reading Emma Lou Thayne’s spiritual autobiography, “The Place of Knowing.” Emma Lou was a deeply spiritual person with roots in Mormonism and a fondness for other forms of spirituality including meditation, card readings, and above all poetry. Continue reading →

“Hmm, I don’t know where to begin. Do you mind telling me how you feel as a gay Mormon?”

That was the question a recently returned missionary asked me today — he’s only been home from his mission for two weeks. My friend (we’ll call him Tom) had never met anyone that he knew was gay. Continue reading →

Elder D. Todd and Sister Kathy Christofferson held a Face to Face interview on December 10, 2016, in Guatemala. It was broadcast in Spanish and Portuguese. During the interview one of the hosts posed to Elder Christofferson a question about homosexuality. I share below my own attempt at translating the question and response. You can view the video here. The question begins at the 56:25 mark. Continue reading →

This morning I am sitting here at my kitchen table in a melancholy mood.  It’s an anniversary, but not one to be celebrated in the least.

My youngest who is 12 is next to me watching Lego Batman clips, my oldest is in the study and my 16 year old is still, of course, sleeping. My thoughts also go to my 20 year old son serving his mission in England as well as my daughter who is a Junior at BYU. Surrounded by my children, I will write first draft, raw, unedited thoughts on this anniversary of the exclusion policy.

One year ago today I was betrayed by my church, no… more specifically my children were betrayed by church policy.

On Thursday, November 5^th, 2015 I saw a story come across my Facebook news feed. Seeing that it was a handbook change I read it with interest. Until the day I die I will remember the enveloping darkness as my curiosity turned to a crushing disbelief. This handbook change was so unbelievable I initially dismissed it as an obviously sensationalized story. It wasn’t scriptural. It wasn’t kind. It wasn’t doctrinal.  I had an instant testimony that it wasn’t true.

Continue reading →

You are 21, and drowning in grief. Your father has died suddenly, leaving you anchorless. You are suffering from a debilitating and nameless disease, and every doctor you see passes you along, telling you that there is nothing they can do for you. You are in a relationship with a woman who you love desperately, but who loves the sharp highs of anger and fuzzy lows of drugs more.

At your local library, you find a book, beautifully written, telling you that you are a beloved daughter of a Heavenly Father, and He has a Plan of Happiness for you. It tells you about the pattern of things that He has set forth, and that you agreed to in the pre-mortal realm. The book says that there is more to life than pain, and that we have come to this world to learn and experience joy. You read it greedily, taking it with you on your breaks to work, sneaking in as many pages as you can away from your girlfriend’s watchful eyes. In it you see truth, beauty, light and- most importantly- hope.

Six months later you sit in front of the local Mission President. You confess to him that you are a lesbian, but that you have broken up with your girlfriend of two years and are living separately from her in preparation for baptism. He smiles; you’ve said the right thing and you bask in his approval. Cutting ties with your girlfriend was painful, but the sacrifice was worth it. Your sins can be washed away. Your homosexuality can be washed away. Continue reading →

Today I was thinking about the upcoming anniversary of the 2015 November Exclusion Policy. As I was caught up in sadness and anger, Facebook popped up this friendly reminder:

Continue reading →

I remember one cold night in November 2015, I was reeling and writhing in pain from the LDS church’s policy change on same-sex marriages and the children therein. I was hurting from crumbled dreams and hopes of raising an LDS family in the gospel with my future husband. Continue reading →

At the October 2016 General Conference, Elder Ballard gave a talk. I slept joyfully through it, only to find it recommended to me by a close friend and mentor. Continue reading →