The Church’s recent release of a video showing North Star International Board member Becky Mackintosh’s family loving and accepting their openly gay son Xian has caused much discussion in social media.

While many laud this video as a step in the right direction, and indeed a lifesaving step in the right direction, it smacks as hypocritical to many LDS LGBT who see the “open door” love and acceptance modeled in this video slam shut on an institutional level when the church rejects the LDS LGBT children of these families when they legally marry.

They are getting closer to telling our stories, but they aren’t getting it completely.

This video may be an important development, but a far greater gift to the LDS LGBT community was quietly rolled out late last night that deserves both our full attention and gratitude.

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I just had my piano tuned by someone I would consider a master of his craft. I found him by chance in the grocery store parking lot last Tuesday. He had a decal advertising his profession on his vehicle.

In conversing with him while loading groceries into my car, I found he comes to town once a year from Montana for a couple of weeks to stay with family and while he is here he tunes pianos to pass the time. I asked him to please come over.  Continue reading →

The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise.

Psalm 51:17

A familiar anthem rises universally in LGBT writings and speech. It is the triumphant declaration: “I am not broken!” Sometimes at our most vulnerable moments in life we need to hear from others “You are not broken” before the actualization of this powerful statement independently ignites in our soul.

So much surrounds us that wants to extinguish this idea. Perhaps no one knows this better than our LDS LGBT. While each coming out story is unique, every gay Mormon passes universal milestones common to every such journey. One common milestone is the point at which you realize you are different from your typical peers at church. Continue reading →

This morning I am sitting here at my kitchen table in a melancholy mood.  It’s an anniversary, but not one to be celebrated in the least.

My youngest who is 12 is next to me watching Lego Batman clips, my oldest is in the study and my 16 year old is still, of course, sleeping. My thoughts also go to my 20 year old son serving his mission in England as well as my daughter who is a Junior at BYU. Surrounded by my children, I will write first draft, raw, unedited thoughts on this anniversary of the exclusion policy.

One year ago today I was betrayed by my church, no… more specifically my children were betrayed by church policy.

On Thursday, November 5^th, 2015 I saw a story come across my Facebook news feed. Seeing that it was a handbook change I read it with interest. Until the day I die I will remember the enveloping darkness as my curiosity turned to a crushing disbelief. This handbook change was so unbelievable I initially dismissed it as an obviously sensationalized story. It wasn’t scriptural. It wasn’t kind. It wasn’t doctrinal.  I had an instant testimony that it wasn’t true.

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Today I was thinking about the upcoming anniversary of the 2015 November Exclusion Policy. As I was caught up in sadness and anger, Facebook popped up this friendly reminder:

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Trigger Warning: This is a frank discussion about the treatment of the believing gay male in the church, including excommunication, which some may find disturbing. This post is not intended for gay youth or gay men who are hurting as they reconcile their sexuality with the teachings of the church. If you feel you need to talk to someone, please do not keep it to yourself. Please call the Suicide Prevention Line (800) 273-8255. If you are a youth please call the Trevor Project (866) 488-7386. Many people care about you.

Your LGBT community will at times have difficult discussions such this one to shed light on previously hidden issues for our allies and others outside our community to consider.

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When I hung up the phone with our Stake Young Men’s President back in 2008, I had a lot to think about.

“We really want Jonathan to come on the trek this year. We have been trying to figure out in our planning meetings how to accommodate him, perhaps have him ride in a handcart and have his trek family care for him along the trail. We think it would be inspirational for the youth to see Jonathan on the trek.”

The Jonathan he was referring to was my 16 year old son. Jonathan was born with both autism and several physical challenges with his legs, knees and feet. What was meant to be a highly spiritual event for a typical Mormon teenager would have only been a nightmare for him.

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Attention straight Mormons without a recommend!

Tired of feeling apostate at family weddings? Feeling unappreciated after decorating the cultural hall with ten thousand yards of crepe paper and filling endless silver foil cupcake liners with buttermints and peanuts only to be relegated to the waiting room for the actual ceremony?

Feel tired no more!

In appreciation for your “Sit with me Sundays,” the LGBT community would like to give back. We will come sit with you outside the temple to help you feel comfortable and not alone! Continue reading →