Trigger Warning: This is a frank discussion about the treatment of the believing gay male in the church, including excommunication, which some may find disturbing. This post is not intended for gay youth or gay men who are hurting as they reconcile their sexuality with the teachings of the church. If you feel you need to talk to someone, please do not keep it to yourself. Please call the Suicide Prevention Line (800) 273-8255. If you are a youth please call the Trevor Project (866) 488-7386. Many people care about you.

Your LGBT community will at times have difficult discussions such this one to shed light on previously hidden issues for our allies and others outside our community to consider.

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When I hung up the phone with our Stake Young Men’s President back in 2008, I had a lot to think about.

“We really want Jonathan to come on the trek this year. We have been trying to figure out in our planning meetings how to accommodate him, perhaps have him ride in a handcart and have his trek family care for him along the trail. We think it would be inspirational for the youth to see Jonathan on the trek.”

The Jonathan he was referring to was my 16 year old son. Jonathan was born with both autism and several physical challenges with his legs, knees and feet. What was meant to be a highly spiritual event for a typical Mormon teenager would have only been a nightmare for him.

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On a recent afternoon I reached the top of a hill and looked out at a sun almost set and the fog rolling in. I was walking along a gravel path as the grass waved and a hawk settled on the highest branch of a nearby tree. I cherish these secluded times.

Despite the ideal setting, something was off and I couldn’t seem to settle into the moment. I wasn’t connecting with the view like I usually do. I wasn’t seeing the way I wanted to. An unseen barrier was separating me from what was in front of me. And there was no one else to blame–I was alone. Continue reading →

Attention straight Mormons without a recommend!

Tired of feeling apostate at family weddings? Feeling unappreciated after decorating the cultural hall with ten thousand yards of crepe paper and filling endless silver foil cupcake liners with buttermints and peanuts only to be relegated to the waiting room for the actual ceremony?

Feel tired no more!

In appreciation for your “Sit with me Sundays,” the LGBT community would like to give back. We will come sit with you outside the temple to help you feel comfortable and not alone! Continue reading →

On the evening of April 6^th, 1986 I sat alone in a dark and empty meetinghouse foyer trembling.

It was an old style church building in a small Illinois town with cold vinyl flooring and a church issued couch. I couldn’t find where the light switches were and as the sun continued to set, the gathering darkness revealed light streaming from under the Bishop’s door.

I fully understood what a pivotal moment this was for me as a 17 year old boy, and although armed with fresh courage from that weekend’s general conference, I was terrified.

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Having seen Star Trek Beyond late last night and with Pioneer Day being celebrated today, frontiers are on my mind. LGBT Mormons often resonate with the persona of the Mormon pioneer. Consider the Affirmation International Conference themes from 2011 to 2014: “Visions and Blessings,” “Celebrate the Journey,” “New Frontiers,” and “This is the Place.” The connection is not subtle. Continue reading →

For some time now, I have felt the need to reach out and express my welcome to the people in my community with sexual fetishes. I don’t know how many of those reading this post might be in that group, and I don’t know what the frequency of fetishism is among the general population. Quite frankly, the main reason I have felt the need to speak about the idea of fetishes is that I hear and know so little about them. The fact is that some of the people I most respect experience some form of sexual fetish or another, and I want to make it clear any and all of you that I welcome you into my life as you are. Continue reading →

Today was kind of a rough day. I got harassed at work for an hour over instant messenger by my Baptist aunt, who works in another state for the same place.  I wanted to cry. She said horrible things, but that wasn’t what really hurt. It was that someone so desperately wanted to destroy my happiness, that they couldn’t respect me enough to drop the agenda and leave me  in peace. Continue reading →

Mormonism is an experiment. It was founded by Joseph Smith, a big thinker who was unafraid of innovating beliefs, transforming social structures, and implementing half-baked plans. Because he was what we might call risk-loving, many of his plans failed, and even some of his successes look messy in hindsight. But if we know anything about Joseph, it is that he was always ready to try something new and unfamiliar. And in some ways it paid off. When he declared universal human salvation, he was breaking rank.

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This week we lost five young adults to suicide. Four were LDS. Four were LGBT.  No words can adequately express the sorrow and grief for such loss.

Once isolated by the miles, social media allows our geographically diverse community a gathering place to process, mourn and bear one another’s burdens. Amid our collective support, one simple but profound observation emerged: “Suicide is complex and layered. Always. It is never possible to point to a specific reason.”

Indeed.

Yesterday the Salt Lake Tribune reported that Utah officials admit they are unsure why the youth suicide rate has nearly tripled since 2007.

We may not be able to officially pin point specific reasons, but we are familiar with the wounds.

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